The Winter of my Soul (1999)
by Mirvarid Dilbazi (1912-2001)
If you were a light, I would have surrounded you,
You, my ardent dear, I would have burned myself
in your flame.
I would have been on fire all my life,
If you hadn't come to my aid.
Even if you hadn't cooled me like rain,
I would have withstood your heat, your smoke.
I would have become a Phoenix
And would have stood on guard, burning.
You are laughter,
But I am a tear.
Where are you, my bosom friend?
The winter of my soul is too stormy,
And I cannot laugh.
You laugh, my dear!
When the world is in the midst of festivity,
What is this sorrow in my soul?
What can I do, me, so ill-fated,
I cannot comprehend my own sorrow.
Grief has bent my proud head,
I've lost my dear friend,
I can't wipe away my tears
Which are streaming down my face.
I'm a flower grown in the desert,
I'm a year full of dry seasons.
Separated from you, I want to die,
But how is it that I can't do it?
Wherever I look, everything reminds me of you,
But there's no news from you.
Now the only friend that I can talk to
Is our sorrowful memories.
Translated by Aynur Hajiyeva